Monday, October 03, 2005

F*CK MEANS TH*NK !!!

I was reasonably profane as a youngster.

Still can be from time to time.

But, mostly, I try to keep a civil tongue.

Except, that is, when I am trying to do something that involves a modicum of dexterity, and I start fumbling. Whatever it is -- keys, socks, screw, credit card -- all the cards in my wallet on a windy day -- handful of legal documents on a windy slushy winter day -- dry cleaning over a mud puddle -- dishes at midnight when the family is sleeping -- I would drop it, then almost catch, then re-drop, then drop everything else trying to re-catch the first thing, then:

!!!!!!!F*CK!!!!!!

!!!!!!!F*CK!!!!!!
!!!!!!!F*CK!!!!!!
!!!!!!!DOUBLE-F*CK!!!!!!

Indeed, I would get very frustrated.

Until one day an angel appeared before me while I was in mid-paroxysm of F*CKery.

He/she/it spake to me in an awesome booming voice, asking if I had any idea what the word F*CK means in heaven.

I was a bit startled at the sight of an actual angel showing up in front of me. I'm not sure, but I think I might have let out the words "Holy F*CK!!!" I suppose that was not totally inappropriate, given who my visitor was.

Anyway, once I regained my composure, I then I thought about it a few minutes. I realized it couldn't possibly mean in heaven what it means here.

So, I admitted I had no idea, and asked it/her/him to tell me.

"In heaven", she/he/it said, "F*CK means THINK".



I stood there dumbfounded awhile. Just kind of gawking. And while I gawked, the angel's words did seep profoundly into my soul.

So that I was re-made into a changed man.

So now, on those less frequent occassions where I find myself fumbling -- or when I inadvertently let something piss me off -- and I unexpectedly find myself losing it and yelling !!!!F*CK!!!!

I remember what that angel told me.

F*CK means TH*NK.

3 Comments:

Blogger Mr K said...

thats deep.... sort of.

1:59 PM  
Blogger Phil Plasma said...

Since I'm not ever prone to using expletives, since I tend to think before I ever have tended to use profane language, does this make me angelic?

Word verification: tundivv

wow man, you smoked a tun of divv

7:31 AM  
Anonymous dmitri178 said...

I just got this. Me and my girlfreind Maria read this a few days ago and I didnt getit. then yesterday after we were getting busy she did something with a piece of gum that she always does because she thinks its funny to p*ss me off. (Exceuse my language). Anyway, I kind of lost it and I started yelling f*ck!! Then she said dont you no that f*ck means th*nk?

And you kno wwhat? I suddenly got what you were talking about! So, i stopped and I thought insted of saying f*ck.

So after i thougt about it for a while, i very calmly got some ice and froze the gum then it was easy to remove. then i truned to maria and said to her

"TH*NK YOU, MARIA!!"

So now she's p*ssed at me.

12:40 PM  

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